I knew when we closed the doors of our church this last year it would be hard. I liken it to dealing with a death in a family. I think I’ve gone through almost all those familiar stages of grief: anger, disbelief, shock, sadness and acceptance. When we first began visiting other churches, I really wanted to stay at home and cry. The thought of meeting people, being friendly, making small talk and act as if we were normal visitors – was too much to think about. In fact, during praise and worship, I usually had tears streaming from my eyes and hoped no one noticed. Now I think the stage we’re in now would be close to ‘moving on” stage. That part where you try to push past – the past – and start new. So – in that spirit of doing a new thing – we’ve continued our quest of finding a church home and I can sum up the experience in one word – WEIRD! Not that the churches are weird – not at all. It’s just WEIRD being on this side of the pulpit. It is hard not to sit and critique how the services are conducted or the music choices (quit picking songs that make me cry!) or sermon points (that more my husband than me). I am just now settling in to my new normal of visiting and actually – being a visitor. I really know how folks felt upon visiting our church now. It is overwhelming! As far as finding a church home ourselves, we’ve not felt a strong enough pull to actually join a church yet. I liken it to dating we’ve found some really great places we enjoy spending time with – but we don’t see our selves committing to. It dawns on me that is what the majority of people feel about church in general. So – where do we go from here? I guess we either commit or continue “dating” other churches till we find the “one.” I know , I know – no church is perfect because it doesn’t have perfect people. I’ve heard that – even said it from our pulpit. But – I know there has to be one that feels like “home” and in turn – one my husband and I both will agree on. I just hope it’s soon because it feels like we’re speed dating.