Faith · fulfillment · Holy Spirit · inspirational · ministry · mothers · prayer · renewal · trials

The Hidden Dirt

We began ripping up the carpet this weekend and discovered a wonderful layer of dirt lurking beneath the surface.  Deep beneath the surface!  I vacuum every week – sometimes more if required.  I am not a clean freak by no means and I also dust fairly often.  However, in the Texas panhandle – it seems fruitless.  You dust in the morning and by afternoon – a 5’0clock layer re-appears.  Yet – this layer of dust beneath the layer of carpet and carpet pad bothers me.  I figured my vacuum really sucks or that dirt wouldn’t be there.  I have lived under the assumption that my efforts to rid my home of dirt is futile.  I cannot do it on my own and yes – I am going to make an analogy here.  It reminds me of what Jesus said about the white tombstones being scrubbed clean but rottenness lies beneath.  Matthew 23:27 “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean. 28 In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.”  We – I walk around thinking I’m this wonderful Christian when in my heart resides a dead woman.  I am a woman of unclean lips too.  I know I have failed as a Christian – I fail daily – we all do.  All have sinned and have fallen short of the glory of God.  This bothers me greatly.  My desire is to be a living example – a living memorial or testament of Jesus.  It seemed easier when I was a pastor’s wife – it was expected.  Now- I live without that pressure, yet I feel a different pressure,  more urgency to live my life that points others to heaven.  Just because I am not currently serving in a church (still  looking for new home!), does not mean I am threw being a servant.  So – I suppose the meaning of this is simply this –I am full of junk –I can scrub, vacuum, scrap, dust and shove in a closet all my baggage or – I can let Jesus into my junk-filled heart and make me truly clean – daily because just like the West Texas wind fills my house with dust – the wicked winds of the world can fill my heart too.  If my heart is full of sin – I cannot be a vessel that shines forth the glory of the Lord in my life.  So  my prayer is simply this –  Create in me a pure heart, O God,  and renew a steadfast spirit within me.  This should help keep the dust and dirt out of my heart.


9 thoughts on “The Hidden Dirt

  1. Suzy, I’m going to leave you with an ‘earth shattering’ comment. But I can detect a ‘hurt spirit, from down deep in your person and while reading the “Hidden Dirt” analogy, God’s Spirit gave me this verse for you to ponder: “And all of us, as with unveiled face, [because we] continued to behold [in the Word of God] as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are constantly being transfigured into His very own image in ever increasing splendor and from one degree of glory to another; [for this comes] from the Lord {Who is] the Spirit” ~ 2 Cor. 3:18 AMP. You and your husband are just in between the glory not “junk” in an old suitcase. That’s all folks!

  2. I love this analogy of dust filled rooms and a junk filled heart. I got concerned when Suzy notes that she has “failed as a Christian”, but quickly points out that we all do. We all fall short of the mark. I also resonated with her desire to lead others to heaven. I have been struggling with this desire myself lately. It is comforting to know that someone else feels a similar way. Maybe this will help keep the dust and dirt out of both our hearts!

  3. Suzy, so glad to see a post from you again! I had hoped that you would’ve found a church home by now. God has something for you in this journey, I’m sure.

    As for your analogy . . . simple but profound. None of our efforts can clean up our heart; only God can. That’s a hard thing to learn sometimes. But the good news is that He wants to clean us up, and is waiting for us to be open to His vacuuming. Meanwhile, iwe can still remember that we are His precious child. WE are not dirt. We simply need the cleansing that God can give.

    Thanks for sharing this, Suzy!

  4. Hi Suzy, it was such a great pleasure reading this I love the fact that even though you no longer have the external pressure of being a pastor’s wife there is an internal pressure that convicts you of the truth of who we are without our Messiah.

    Funnily enough, I’m entering into a period of repentance and sanctification and have just finished writing about it on my blog, it ties in well with what you have written here!!! But as Mel has said there is great hope for us knowing that we are being transformed bit by bit into the glorious image of the Son!!!

    If you wish to stop over you can see my latest blog post here

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