The Hidden Dirt

We began ripping up the carpet this weekend and discovered a wonderful layer of dirt lurking beneath the surface.  Deep beneath the surface!  I vacuum every week – sometimes more if required.  I am not a clean freak by no means and I also dust fairly often.  However, in the Texas panhandle – it seems fruitless.  You dust in the morning and by afternoon – a 5’0clock layer re-appears.  Yet – this layer of dust beneath the layer of carpet and carpet pad bothers me.  I figured my vacuum really sucks or that dirt wouldn’t be there.  I have lived under the assumption that my efforts to rid my home of dirt is futile.  I cannot do it on my own and yes – I am going to make an analogy here.  It reminds me of what Jesus said about the white tombstones being scrubbed clean but rottenness lies beneath.  Matthew 23:27 “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean. ²⁸ In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.”  We – I walk around thinking I’m this wonderful Christian when in my heart resides a dead woman.  I am a woman of unclean lips too.  I know I have failed as a Christian – I fail daily – we all do.  All have sinned and have fallen short of the glory of God.  This bothers me greatly.  My desire is to be a living example – a living memorial or testament of Jesus.  It seemed easier when I was a pastor’s wife – it was expected.  Now- I live without that pressure, yet I feel a different pressure,  more urgency to live my life that points others to heaven.  Just because I am not currently serving in a church (still  looking for new home!), does not mean I am threw being a servant.  So – I suppose the meaning of this is simply this –I am full of junk –I can scrub, vacuum, scrap, dust and shove in a closet all my baggage or – I can let Jesus into my junk-filled heart and make me truly clean – daily because just like the West Texas wind fills my house with dust – the wicked winds of the world can fill my heart too.  If my heart is full of sin – I cannot be a vessel that shines forth the glory of the Lord in my life.  So  my prayer is simply this –  Create in me a pure heart, O God,  and renew a steadfast spirit within me.  This should help keep the dust and dirt out of my heart.